mama's gone

I miss my best friend.  I didn't think I would, because, you know, the internet, and since we're inseparable, especially due to our dwelling proximity, I thought the distance apart would give me time to focus on my writing and adulting shit I need to focus on to become the type of person that I think it might be nice to be. You know - to be able to afford rent and food and whatnot with even a little less flail. 

But, again, I've had my meds altered and semi lost it again and talking to her for some time the past two days was a real slap in the face of her clear purpose of that neighborhood mama figure and some source of strange stability, through home cooked meals and baked goods, my sneezing from the cats, the apartment's smell and broken toilet parts, the garbage television programs I can't help but get sucked into while she and my "dad" laugh at the horror on my face, the hugs hello and goodbye even though we're only a short four blocks, an easy phone call, a tomorrow away.

Oh what I'd give to be back in her big warm arms sparking a fatty; but, now she's gone on an adventure in dear ole rose city.